i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
