i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
