I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
