come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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