Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
