Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
