There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
