In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
