Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
