I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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