The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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