is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize