She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize