well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
