This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
