I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
