You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
