i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
