I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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