peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
