I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
