and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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