We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
