Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
