sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize