Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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