So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
that is very illegal...i love you.
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