And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
