Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
