i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
