yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He uses pillows to masturbate.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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