I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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