I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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