I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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