we have pet lesbian snakes
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
