Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
