a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
