shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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