Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
