This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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