its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
