I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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