There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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