Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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