No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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