Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
