Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
