Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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