Just cropdusted the office
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
