I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
