I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
