I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
