There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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