i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
