And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
