I don't think brook has ever known best
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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