i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
