Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think my nap took me to another dimension
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
