i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
