i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Im part way to drunk.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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