I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
