DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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