Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
false alarm. still invincible.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
