Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
