i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
