you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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