She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
