Sponge bath it is.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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