She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
