so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
True strength comes from lack of pants
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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