im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
